Welcome to PAW PRINTS, a collection of interesting and humorous trivia about people, animals, places and more.

Want to know something quirky about someone famous? Curious about butterflies or sharks or the Statue of Liberty? Looking for the perfect quote to match an important occasion? Need a joke to cheer up a friend?
Paw Prints has hundreds of anecdotes about the famous and the infamous. Browse through thousands of factoids, quotes, and jokes — all guaranteed to tickle your fancy or your funny bone.

Time to sharpen your no. 2 pencils and get back to work!

Andrew Dickson White

Andrew Dickson White

(1832–1918)

A stickler for academic excellence, White refused to give permission for Cornell’s football squad to travel to a game against Michigan. “I will not permit thirty men to travel four hundred miles to agitate a bag of wind.”

Redtail Hawk

Hawks & Falcons

In early falconry, a man no longer young enough to fly his own bird wound up toting the wooden frame on which live hawks were carried. It was called a “cadge,” pronounced “codge.” That’s where we got “old codger.”
...

cont'd
The cat was created when the lion sneezed.
dog scratching

If you can...

If you can start the day without caffeine or get going without pep pills ...
Then you are...

apple for the teacher and pencil

Education

“Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it”
Education quotes

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
chimpanzee staring

Chimpanzees

Although lighter than humans, chimpanzees have a pull five to six times stronger.
Chimpanzee factoids

All in a Day’s Work

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the...

cont'd
John Erskine

John Erskine

(1879–1951)

Erskine was once asked if he found it disconcerting to see members of the audience looking at their watches during a long lecture. “No,” replied Erskine, “not until they start shaking them.”

Brush salesman

Advertising Lingo

  • NEW! — Different color from previous design.
  • ALL NEW! — Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.
  • ...
cont'd
Envelope to God

Dear God, Children’s Letters to God

envelope to God
  • “Dear God, In Sunday School they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?”...
cont'd
Sir Rudolf Bing

Sir Rudolf Bing

(1902–1997)

In Sir Rudolf Bing’s 5000 Nights at the Opera there is a photograph of the author sitting all alone in the old Metropolitan Opera House, a solitary figure in a sea of empty seats. On seeing this...

cont'd
Friends are relatives you make for yourself. ~Eustache Deschamps
Charles, Prince of Wales

Charles, Prince of Wales

(1948– )

Charles briefly attended a school in Australia. One Sunday, the rector of the local parish church was surprised to see the prince at his morning service. There was only a scanty congregation that day, for which the rector apologized as his...
cont'd
Wal-Mart Greeter

The Wal-Mart Greeter

Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just Wal-Mart greetercouldn’t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was...

cont'd
In my dreams I can leap to the top of the banyan tree.
Friendship is the source of the greatest pleasures, and without friends even the most agreeable pursuits become tedious. ~Thomas Aquinas

Workers’ Pun

The Janitors’ Union went on strike demanding sweeping reforms. The Bakers’ Union, however, just wanted more dough.

The daisies don't know that summer is coming to an end

Einstein’s Three Rules of Work

1) Out of clutter find simplicity; 2) From discord find harmony; 3) In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

What was the dentist doing in Panama?

Looking for the Root Canal.

A man, sir, should keep his friendship in constant repair. ~Samuel Johnson

Quotably Wrong

“And for the tourist who really wants to get away from it all, safaris in Vietnam.”
Quotably Wrong

Ganymede

The Largest Moon

The largest satellite of any planet in the solar system is Ganymede, one of Jupiter’s moons.

Alfonso X

Alfonso X

(c. 1221–1284)

The most celebrated of the works undertaken under Alfonso’s sponsorship was the compilation of the “Alfonsine Tables...

cont'd
executive and boss

The Helpful Young Executive

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in hand.

“Listen,” said the CEO, “this is important, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing...

cont'd
Milk Stamp

Make Mine Milk

Milk is the best-selling item in the supermarket. That’s why it’s almost always in the back of the store...so you’ll pass by numerous other tempting...
Make Mine Milk

Baby flying squirrel

Flying Squirrels

Flying squirrels are not true members of the squirrel family. They are about 8 inches long, about half of that in a flat tail shaped much like that of a beaver.
More

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when...
out cold

Rough Day

A woman met her husband at the train station after work for the ride home. He looked haggard, so she asked, “Rough day?”

“You bet it was,” he groaned. “Our computers were down, and we had to think all day long.”

A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.