“Altitude is the great equalizer.”

“Always receive a favor in such a way that the giver wishes he had done you a greater one.”

“Always speak well of your enemies; remember you made them.”


“Art is long, life is short.”

At New Jersey’s beaches in the 1880s a white flag meant “ladies hour.” A red flag meant “male nude bathing.”

“A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.”

“Be kind to your neighbor...he knows where you live.”

“Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”

“Blessed are our enemies, for they tell us the truth when our friends flatter us.”

“Brain work will cause women to go bald.”
[Berlin professor, 1914]

“A burden shared is a burden halved. A joy shared is a joy doubled.”

“Can’t act. Can’t sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.”
[A film company’s verdict on Fred Astaire’s 1928 screen test]

“Chocolate is health food for the soul.”

“Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is.”

“Chocolate makes everything better.”

“Chocolate: a delicious cure for a bad day.”

“Clever liars give details, but the cleverest don’t.”

“The closest anyone ever comes to perfection is on a job application form.”

“The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.” [commonly misattributed to Mark Twain]

“Common sense is what tells us the Earth is flat and the Sun goes around it.”

“A computer isn’t smart enough to make a mistake. Computers are dumb. Fast and efficient and dumb. No computer ever had an idea.”

“Conservatives are satisfied with present evils; liberals want to replace them with new ones.”

“Courage is always greatest when blended with meekness; intellectual ability is most admired when it sparkles in the setting of modest self-distrust; and never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge and dares to forgive any injury.”

“The devil can’t get you unless you’re already nibbling on the devil’s bait.”

“Diplomacy is thinking twice before saying nothing.”

“A diplomat is a man who remembers a lady’s birthday but forgets her age.”

“The disadvantage to becoming wise is that you learn how foolish you’ve been.”

Do not sign a letter that you have not read, nor drink the water that you have not seen. [No firmes carta que no leas, ni bebas agua que no veas.]

“A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue.”

“The duties of home are discipline for the ministries of heaven.”

Each saint wants his own candle. [Cada santo quiere su propia vela.]

“Each time history repeats itself, the price goes up.”

A finger does not make a hand, nor a swallow a Summer. [Un dedo no hace una mano, ni una golondrina verano.]

The first outdoor advertising sign was “Chew Mail Pouch Tobacco.” It showed up in 1908 in Wheeling, W. VA., and spread. That was a couple of decades before the Burma Shave signs appeare

Flies do not enter a closed mouth. [En boca cerrada no entran moscas.]

“Food isn’t the only thing that causes indigestion. You can also get it from eating crow and swallowing your pride.”

“For some, there’s therapy. For the rest of us, there’s chocolate.”

“Forget it. No Civil War picture ever made a nickel.”
[MGM executive, advising against investing in Gone With The Wind]

“Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

“A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.”

“God may well be taken as a substitute for everything; but nothing can be taken as a substitute for God.”

God protect me from the calm waters; from the rough ones I will protect myself. [Del río manso guárdeme Dios; que del fuerte yo me guardaré.]

Good beginning, half is done. [Buen principio, la mitad está hecha.]

A good life stretches the wrinkles. [Buena vida arrugas tira.]

He that does what he should not, has things happen to him that he cannot believe. [El que hace lo que no debe, sucédele lo que no crée.]

“He that hath no fools, knaves, or beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning.”

“He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches. He who cannot teach, teaches teachers. He who cannot teach teachers, becomes an administrator.”

“A hundred men can make an encampment, but it requires a woman to make a home.”

“I often wish ... that I could rid the world of the tyranny of facts. What are facts but compromises? A fact merely marks the point where we have agreed to let investigation cease.”

“If I had know I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.”

“If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.” [lyric from Gloom, Despair, and Agony on Me, a country western song]

“If it weren’t for time, we’d have to do everything all at once.”

“If you’re made of the right material, a hard fall is bound to result in a high bounce.”

“I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.”

In Jamaica, you’re forewarned of speed bumps by signs that read: “Sleeping Policemen Ahead.”

In the lobby of the Continental Hotel in the strict Moslem city of Dacca is this sign: “Ladies in shorts may be stoned.”

“In this life the old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, and the young know everything.”

“I’ve never been in love. I’ve always been a lawyer.”

“A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses.”


“Like all art, it can educate and elevate or demean and destroy.”

“Loose lips sink ships.” [World War II poster]

“The love of a father is one of nature’s greatest masterpieces.”

“Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.”

Love with love should be repaid. [Amor con amor se paga.]

“A man on the street is pointing up to the sky. ‘Look, An Angel!’ he yells. Passersby laugh. ‘You fool. That is only a cloud.’ How wonderful it would be to see angels where there are only clouds. How sad it would be to see only clouds where there are angels.”

“Many a man works hard and saves money so that his sons won’t have the disadvantages that made a man of their father.”

Most common marriage refusal line: “I think marriage would ruin our friendship.”

“Most people like the old days best — they were younger then.”

Most quoted definition of a committee: “A committee is a group of the unwilling, chosen from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.”

“Most of us spend a lifetime going to sleep when we’re not sleepy and getting up when we are.”

“Nature is our mother.”

“Never mistake endurance for hospitality.”

“Never place a period where your angel has placed a comma.”

“Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better.”

“None but a mule denies his family.”

The old bromide “Nothing succeeds like success” originated on Oct. 16, 1846. Reporters heard a doctor say it in Boston’s General Hospital, after surgeons proved what few believed: that ether really could make patients insensible to pain.

On a pasture fence in England is this sign: “Don’t cross this field unless you can do it in 9.8 seconds. The bull can do it in 10.”

On interstate 80, just outside of Winnemucca, NV, is a sign that reads: “If You Don’t Stop Here, Who Will?”

“One cannot change the past, but one can ruin the present by worrying over the future.”

“Peace is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it.” [seen on a sun dial]

“People are like teabags... you never know how strong they are until you drop them in hot water.”

“A politician can appear to have his nose to the grindstone while straddling a fence and keeping both ears to the ground.”

“Praise and criticism are both frauds.”

“Revenge is a dish best served cold.”

“Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.”

“The shortest distance between two points is usually under construction.”

“Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer.”

“Tell your boss what you think of him, and the truth shall set you free.”

“That rainbow song’s no good. Take it out.”
[MGM memo after first showing of The Wizard Of Oz]

“There are few problems in life that wouldn’t be eased by the proper application of high explosives.”

“There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles.”

“There are three reasons why lawyers are being used more and more in scientific experiments. First, every year there are more of them around. Second, lab assistants don’t get attached to them. And, third, there are some things that rats just won’t do.”

“To get back on your feet, miss two car payments.”

A traveler reports this sign at the swimming pool of a French Riviera hotel: “Swimming is forbidden in the absence of the savior.”

“The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you’re asleep.”

“Two men looked through prison bars — one saw mud; the other, stars.”

“Very interesting, Whittle, my boy, but it will never work.”
[Professor of Aeronautical Engineering at Cambridge, shown Frank Whittle’s plan for the jet engine]

What makes Moscow different from other cities of its size is the absence of advertising signs.

“When someone dies, an angel is there to meet them at the gates of Heaven to let them know that their life has just begun.”

“Worry is the interest you pay on the trouble you borrow.”

“You ought to go back to driving a truck.”
[Concert manager, firing Elvis Presley in 1954]

“You’d better learn secretarial skills or else get married.”
[Modelling agency, rejecting Marilyn Monroe in 1944]