Will Rogers

“All I know is just what I read in the papers.”

“Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.”

barking bowser

“Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.”

“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”

“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.”

“And finally, if you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.”

“I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.”

“The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don’t know when it’s through if you are a crook or a martyr.”

“The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.”

“Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.”

“The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.”

“One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.”

“One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.”

“People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.”

“Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.”

“We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.”

“When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.”

“You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.”