Doctor: “Sorry. Your brother’s brain is dead but his heart is still beating.”
Sister: “Oh dear. We’ve never had a liberal in the family before.”
One morning this blonde calls her friend and says “Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to start it.” Her friend asks “What is it a puzzle of?” The blonde says “From the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”
The blonde’s friend figures that he’s pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box.
He then turns to her and says: “First, no matter what I do, I’m not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.” “Second, I’d advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.”