Hospital Humor

Actual entries in hospital charts:
  • Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
  • She is numb from her toes down.
  • While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
  • The skin was moist and dry.
  • Occasional constant infrequent headaches.
  • Patient was alert and unresponsive.
  • Rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.
  • She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
  • I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
  • Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.