How To Photograph A New Puppy

Puppy Photo

Detailed instructions on how to photograph a new puppy. If this is not your first attempt to photograph a puppy, just skip to step 18.

  1. Delete a few old pix from camera phone to make room for puppy photos.
  2. Remove dirty stick from puppy’s mouth and throw in trash.
  3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
  4. Choose a suitable background for photo.
  5. Mount camera on tripod, focus and set delay to 10 seconds.
  6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
  7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
  8. Reset camera delay to 10 seconds again.
  9. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
  10. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.
  11. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
  12. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy’s nose.
  13. Put magazines back on coffee table.
  14. Try to get puppy’s attention by squeaking toy over your head.
  15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
  16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say — “No, outside! No, outside!!”
  17. Call spouse to clean up mess.
  18. Fix a drink.
  19. Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy “sit” and “stay” the first thing in the morning.