Did you hear the one about...

• Did you hear the one about the two silkworms that had a race? It ended up in a tie.
• Did you hear the one about Thomas from China who was caught looking into windows? I guess you could say he was a Peking Tom.
• Did you hear the one about the UC Berkeley parapsychology professor that had really bad breath? It was a case of supercalifornianmysticexperthalitosis.
• Did you hear the one about the guy who tried to install an epileptic converter on his car but couldn't get it to fit?
• Did you hear the one about the cow who tried to jump over a barb wired fence? It was an udder disaster!
• Did you hear the one about the duck who bought a house with a low down payment?
• Did you hear the one about the guy who was so dumb that he thought the Canadian border paid rent?
• Did you hear the one about the guy who was so lazy that he thought manual labor was the president of Mexico?
• Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac? She lies awake at night and wonders "Is there a dog?"
• Did you hear the one about the baker who always needed dough?
• Did you hear the one about the hair stylist who was fired for making waves?