1. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
  2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
  3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  5. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
  6. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
  7. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  8. When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
  9. You have the right to remain silent, please consider it.
  10. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
  11. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  12. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  13. Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  14. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
  15. “It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.” John Andrew Holmes.
  16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
  17. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
  18. Support bacteria, they’re the only culture some people have.
  19. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

More Ponderables

pondering artwork
  1. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
  2. How do I set my laser printer on stun?
  3. How is it possible to have a civil war?
  4. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
  5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  6. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
  7. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
  8. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
  9. If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
  10. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
  11. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
  12. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
  13. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
  14. If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?