Things I Learned in Movies...

Part 3: The Way Things Work

Control Tower
  • It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
  • When looking through binoculars, you will always see everything through a figure eight shape.
  • When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
  • A slight blow to the head is usually enough to cause amnesia.
  • Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people — whether they are employed or not.
  • Restaurant bills will always be 15% less than the amount you are holding in your hand.
  • Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few seconds.
  • A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.
  • It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
  • Out cold
  • No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
  • Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
  • Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste by their actions.
  • You can always find a chain saw when you need one.
  • Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds — unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
  • In school, teachers will always be interrupted mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell.
  • Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
  • Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
  • Guns are like disposable razors — if you run out of bullets just throw the gun away. You can always buy a new one.