Things I Learned in Movies...

Part 4: Mysteries

Sheriff badge
  • The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective — or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
  • A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
  • During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
  • During a murder investigation lasting several weeks it will not be necessary for detectives to go home at any time to eat, sleep, shave, or change their clothes.
  • If a killer is lurking in your house, it’s easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath — even if it’s the middle of the afternoon — then look in your bathroom mirror and he will suddenly appear behind you.
  • Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely.
  • That’s all, folks.