Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery

doctor looking at x-ray
  • Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
  • Someone call the janitor — we’re going to need a mop.
  • Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
  • Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie.
  • Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
  • Rats, there go the lights again...
  • Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
  • What’s this doing here?
  • That’s cool! now can you make his leg twitch?!
  • I wish I hadn’t forgotten my glasses.
  • Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
  • Sterile, shcmeril. The floor’s clean, right?
  • Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
  • OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
  • Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
  • Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.
  • She’s gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!
  • Ooops!