Legally speaking...

• When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. — Norm Crosby
• Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is like getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club. — Melvin Belli on the occasion of his getting kicked out of the American Bar Asociation
• Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made. — Otto von Bismarck
• Lawsuit, n. A machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. — Ambrose Bierce
• Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer. — Anonymous
• I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. — Anonymous
• Agree, for the law is costly. — William Camden
• Two farmers each claimed to own a certain cow. While one pulled on its head and the other pulled on its tail, the cow was milked by a lawyer. — A Jewish parable
• A tragedy is a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. — Anonymous

no offense intended so hope none was taken.